Mardi Gras the Third

Whew. I. Am. Exhausted. Mardi Gras 2012, as I had hoped, was nothing but fun, fun, fun with a side of fun.

It almost wasn't to be though - Tuesday morning I woke up with a sore throat, but decided to be covert and not tell anyone I wasn't feeling well. I kept my secret (shocking, I know) until Wednesday morning when Mr. Smith woke me up after a night of sawing logs and accused me of being sick. *i was*

Who knew that three days of eating grease, fat and sugar, staying up late, screaming at the top of your lungs and imbibing Bloody Marys all day was bad for a cold? Huh. Fancy that. At least now that I feel better I have the honor of sounding like a modern day Janis Joplin. Who sings badly, but still! I sound cool and raspy.

BUT WAS IN DENIAL. Ahem. There are no pics of the ride down because I slept the whole nine hours there. Thanks for the lift, Jenny Poo!

But enough about me! Matt had work and flew into New Orleans directly from Washington, DC. He'd been hearing and seeing Jenny carefully craft our Mardi Gras finery for weeks now, so he decided to one up us and show up via cab to his first parade in a costume of his own:

costume=epic FAIL

Get that man a costume change and a beer!

and now we're ready to roll

Three things I knew about Jenny and Mardi Gras: #1, she would love it. #2, she's tremendously competitive and would love catching beads. (#3 will come later) I was able to snap this pic - think of it like the first time a person photographed a hummingbird and its wings were seen still in flight for the first time. That's of-an-instant this image is:

jenny's first bead catch (uncle herbie gave her the other one around her neck)

Aaaaannnnddd..... just like that.....

moment's over.

First night parades; good times had by all. I caught another shoe at the Muses parade! Actually... my first shoe catch; Cousin Vince handed me the one that bounced off my face two years ago. Both shoes adorn my mantle as I type!

Oh, and here is what I knew about Jenny #3! That she and my cousins would have a BALL TOGETHER. They are party monsters, just like Jenny!

reagan and jenny's party monsters say RAWR

me, cousin reagan and jenny

Where, might you ask, is Cousin Danielle? Why, she is....

HERE! somewhere... year two i see this parade and completely miss her. i ran across the street and EVERYTHING for a photo with her! DANGIT.

Next morning, we go to the....

bonjour

We parked inside the Omni Hotel and boy am I ever glad we did! Not only did I have my very first Bloody Mary ever (yum; nice on a sore throat too I'M SORRY MAMA! IT'S TRUE!) We also had the opportunity to enjoy this right outside the door:

the queen of iris and the king of hermes toasted each other for the first time to set the mardi gras weekend off right. king hermes first two decrees? that there would be good weather in the realm and that all of his subjects were required to have fun. done and done, sir.

i'll toast to that

Back in the Omni, we met these cutie pie ladies. I thought they were there for a Mary Kay convention, and they said no. Even though Hermes is an all-man parade, they claimed to be the women of Hermes.

i believe them too. they were totally sweet. 

they gave me and jenny these super cute masks to wear too! masks are hard to see in btw, who knew? i managed to be masque'd and mysterious for all of about ten minutes before caving.

Oh, and for the lewdest amongst you, I shall confess I saw my first (in my three years of Mardi Gras'ing) FIRST pair of flashing boobies. And I was too embarrassed to look. Seriously. Did her mother teach her NOTHING? In any event, it occurred in a situation like this (psst, there are no boobs in the picture HAVE WE MET??)

hey mistah (in the dress) tro me somthin good, mistah!

And although we ate tremendously, my appetite wasn't what it usually is (thanks, cold, you SUCK) but I did enjoy a few:

delicious delicious raw oysters on cheap crackers with tabasco  

Now! Here is a picture for my Dipsey Doodle! In case you haven't noticed, Dipsey is perpetually worried about... well... he worries a lot about stuff. Especially dangerous stuff. Even if it's unintentionally dangerous. This I did, on purpose, for a photo, because it is DANGEROUS!!!!!

EEEEEEE i'm on a 12-foot ladder sitting on the top step that says "don't sit on the top step" and my feet are on the paint bucket holder!!!!!!!

In all seriousness, I won't even stand on the second to top step. I'm a "stand on the second to top step and brace your shins in on the top step" girl. The aunts and cousins ALL SIT LIKE THIS and it scares the pants off me. Pre-parade I had Aunt Adri (left) and Mr. Smith (right) help me into and out of this position for a photo op. Tee hee!

Moving on!

cutie pies aunt adri and cousin reagan have a friend battle; neutral groundies vs. sidewalk siders. 

best buds 4-evah

this is what it looks like from behind to yell for beads

Now, when I called home one day to check in, my Dipsey Doodle mentioned to me that there had been a story in the local paper about the waste and excess of Mardi Gras. Haters gonna HATE, yo. No seriously. But anyway, I was very impressed to see several floats in several parades that advertised slogans along the lines of "if you don't really want them, throw them back!" And I did my part and lobbed many many beads back onto floats. One in particular featured a King Kong that you were supposed to aim for his mouth with the beads. Very few shots made it in, but I managed to snap a pic of....

cousin vince from the 3-pointer line! (is that what it's called?) nothing but net!

OH! And, my biggest laugh of the whole weekend came when Tommy decided that we should solicit friend of a friend of a friend Joe Henican for some beads. He was in one of the krewes in the Rex parade. We made a fun sign, and I stashed it in Reagan's bag for safe keeping, but still...

it got ruined pre-parade

Never mind! Right before Joe's float came by the Mowrers and Smiths ran from the neutral ground to the sidewalk side to see Joe come by (and scream for bead love from someone we knew). This is dangerous. I'm scared of bands. I scurry like a scared rat across the street, and only when I have to. Once you are there, you have to apologize to all the people you are now standing in front of and say things like "I'll just be here through the next float, someone I know is riding!" or else you'll get your head beat in. Once we crossed, and made our peace with the now second stringers, we started to bargain on who would go where, and who would say what, and who would run, etc. Long story short: Tommy would hold the sign, I would sit on Matt's shoulders, and Jenny would lead the group in yelling JOOOOOEEE!!! JOOOOOOEEEE! She did a good job. But the float was going at a clip and before Joe could recognize us, we had passed. Me, terrified and trying to remember how 20-some years ago as a cheerleader I would steady myself atop someone's shoulders, thought, oh well. Bye, float. At least I can get dow-

And Matt took off. Jenny said he looked like Secretariat. And she could tell I was immensely uncomfortable with the situation even from behind. But, in the end, Matt and I, along with Tommy caught up with Joe and caught some good stuff. In spite of my terror, I managed to yell JOOOOOOOEEEE the whole time. After the coast was clear I shrieked to be let down and then laughed for about  half an hour non-stop. I would pay about anything to see a picture of that.

In other news...

this is what jenny looks like shilling for beads

did i mention jenny loved mardi gras?

suzy and adri get bored between floats and catch up on current events

me and two pipers piping

Did you know that Mardi Gras is full of drunks? No? Well, it is. And being the genteel and courteous Daughter of the South that I am, I am not accustomed to ill bred behavior (Mama, quit laughing). That evening, a young lad near us became a bit... um... boisterous. Now that is well and good, but his frivolity entered into our territory, which again, is fine. But then, he made the grievous mistake of sloshing beer on Cousin Reagan. WE WILL HAVE NONE OF THAT. And, I'm not kidding when I say if anything startles me during a parade, I am not ashamed to run for cover. I was already huddling behind Cousin Vince due to Mr. Boisterous, and when Reagan let him have what-for, ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE. In my mind anyway. In any event, I stood slack jawed for the 45 seconds Vince and this guy engaged in verbal fisticuffs, which ended in Vince escalating from "back off, man," to "I WILL DROP YOU RIGHT NOW IF YOU DON'T BACK OFF." Seriously. It was like watching ping pong. Mr. Boisterous apologized (to me, oddly enough) and slunk back to his friends. It's a wonder I didn't have the vapors on the spot. RHETT!

Therefore, is it any wonder that Vince's catchphrase is now:

I WILL DROP YOU. here he's showing the sign tommy made for his parade to matt.

The Endymion parade at Vince and Reagan's was wet and mucky. But never mind! May I please take the opportunity to thank Kristina Canan for the very thoughtful gift of wellies two years ago? They sure came in handy last weekend.

jenny and i sloshing in mud puddles (yes that's a tutu)

Oh, I'm sorry, did I say tutu? May I also say...

wig! i'm wearing a super cute outfit underneath, but uncle vince was kind enough to lend me a raincoat for the evening. THANKS UNCLE VINCE. you saved my life. of course it looked like i just forgot PANTS all evening but oh well. matt also made the point that with my black wig and new raspy voice i didn't look or sound like myself at all. may i please introduce you to bizzaro-me, mia!

cousins reagan, danielle, friend jenny and mia and dressed to the nines and ready for parades!

Everyone likes dressing alike at Mardi Gras, it's not just me:

suzy and adri ready to roll to parades

making the wet look work for them

Cousin  Reagan enjoys a custom made rain outfit styled by Adri.

yes, it's a black trash bag.

We all have fun in spite of icky weather.

papa tom and mia

i don't what's going on here, but we are all having fun. i think....

my wig fell off at one point and this is the best i could do to get it on

meet carrie!

I shall not repost again (love you, babe and besides I cannot find it) but perhaps those of you amongst us remember the worst photo of all time taken of Tommy? Endymion night two years ago was when it was taken. So we decided to recreate!

close?

Next day, walking around adventures:

fat harry's!

children in a st. charles car wagon, throwing out beads and cups - TOO CUTE

jenny with a FINE acquisition 

we saw the marching 100 at least 100 times but i ain't complainin'

smith family christmas card photo

meggie and jenny, pretty in pink

jenny smooches a statue

the family, between parades, from the other side of the street (note cutie FIL, papa tom!)

danielle and jenny 

man who gave me good stuff

jenny's wig needed adjusting - papa tom is the man for the job! is this on your resume? it should be!

ordinary men, extraordinary moves

smelling roses

da boys

i suspect cousin danielle was a bit easier on mattie's spine than i was!

meow

oversize accessories are always en vogue

happy birthday aunt adri!

aunt mickey... these ears made it to tennessee I'M SORRY I'LL MAIL THEM TO YOU!!!!

will ferrell was king of bacchus - this is him I SWEAR (i caught beads off his float!)

 Last heartwarming images of Mardi Gras 2012:

had a great weekend with my cousins. girls' retreat STAT, please!

i TOLD you jenny would love them.

Lastly, lastly, queen of my heart:

lucy loved the crown i got her from new orleans.

Had a bit of a bummer though. On the way home, our credit card was declined. When we got back in the car I decided to investigate, and sure enough, our card had been placed on hold. (that's not the bummer though) I called, verified my account and punched my way through voice system hell (I still have no VOICE, yo) until I got to the fraud department. The woman assured me that we would be able to reactivate my card just as soon as I confirmed a few charges. Ok. The call goes like this:

DIANE THE FRAUD SPECIALIST: Ok, Mrs. Smith, let me just go through a few of the charges that have come through today.
ME: aaaah-keeh.
DIANE: Now, I see you had breakfast this morning at McDonald's in Slidell, Louisiana?
ME: aah, yaaah. iii laaah eehhh miiii muufaaahhnn
DIANE: Me too. Ok, now I see there is a charge at a gas station in Alabama. Oh wait... there are two charges? Is that right?
ME: aah, yaaaah. iiii weeen iiiiin aaan my husssbuuun puuump gaaaaass
DIANE: Oh, I see. Ok, then -
ME: ooooh wwaaaiii. iiiii orddeeeerrr floooowwarrhs froooom hoooom. weee aaarrh traaahhveeellin', aaan' maaahhh aauuun innn neeewww oreleeeensss leeet uss staaeeeehhh iiiinn heeerrr houuuss.
DIANE: Ordered flowers from Knoxville?
ME: yaaaah
DIANE: Oh! Ok, well just a few more charges then, I see you had lunch at one of my favorite places, Chik-fil-a...
ME: heeeeh, heeeee.... yaaaah, uuuuuhhh... weee laaaak juuunkk fooootah.
DIANE: and you had some ice cream right after at Yoo-Yoo's Yogurt?
ME: heeeeh, heeeh... yaaaaah, thaaasss mee... 
DIANE: and I see we declined a charge at Wendy's an hour ago in Cleveland, TN.
ME: aaaaaahhhh.... yoooouu caaaan sttttooooop naaaahhhhoooww.

DAMN YOU. The last thing in the world I need is to be judged by a fraud specialist for my diet. Humph.

Cold on its way out. Fun officially had. Back to the grind at the library. Good times had by all.

Over and out,
M